
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1747997.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Haikyuu!!
  Relationship:
      Kuroo_Tetsurou/Tsukishima_Kei
  Character:
      Kuroo_Tetsurou, Tsukishima_Kei, Hinata_Shouyou, Yamaguchi_Tadashi
  Additional Tags:
      Rough_Sex, Oral_Sex, Anal_Sex, Anal_Fingering, Angry_Sex, Emotions
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-06 Words: 9883
****** swimming with the sharks until we drown ******
by readbetweenthelions
Summary
     God. Tsukishima hates him. Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he just hates
     how easy it is for Kuroo to get to him, to weasel his way in and do
     everything just right to get him to snap. Maybe it’s that Tsukishima
     is used to doing the riling, and the fact that he’s never been able
     to get to Kuroo, not once, is what’s bothering him. Either way, right
     now he just wants to hate-fuck Kuroo and get it out of his system.
Notes
     sorry (but not sorry) this turned into like 10,000 words of straight-
     up kurotsukki porn, but i prefer my kurotsukki sexual but not
     romantic. you wont find any kurotsukki fluff from me. here you go,
     hope it ruins you as much reading it as it ruined me to write it.
Tsukishima sits at a table alone, his meal in front of him. This is his
favorite restaurant. Sure, it’s a little far from home, but some days, it’s
worth it. He’s alone mostly by choice. Sometimes he needs to get away from the
craziness of school and family and the volleyball club. Tsukishima takes a deep
breath, inhaling the fragrant steam rising from his meal. It’s been so worth
the travel. After appreciating for a short while, Tsukishima picks up his
chopsticks and tucks in.
“Hey, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima startles, noodles still hanging from his mouth. He looks up as he
chews. Standing over his table is an imposing figure – not quite as tall as
Tsukishima himself, but lacking in only a few centimeters. Tsukishima would
recognize that shock of black hair anywhere.
Kuroo stands over him, a plastic bag with takeout containers in it hanging from
one hand. The other hand is on his hip. Kuroo smirks – but then, when doesn’the
smirk? – and looks down at Tsukishima. “Why are you eating alone?” Kuroo asks.
Tsukishima swallows. “I could ask you the same thing.” It’s not really an
answer, but why should he have to explain himself? Here comes Kuroo, sweeping
in and disturbing a perfectly nice meal at his favorite restaurant, questioning
him as if he owns the place. It’s disrespectful. But there’s not much that
Kuroo really respects, and that includes the sanctity of Tsukishima’s meal.
Kuroo raises the bag full of takeout slightly. “I was going to eat at home,” he
says, “But now I don’t think I will.”
Before Tsukishima can even ask him what he means, Kuroo has perched himself on
the chair across from him. Kuroo unpacks his takeout containers from his bag.
Tsukishima sighs. Kuroo being here is not going to ruin his meal, he’s
determined to not let it. Tsukishima continues eating. He gets the feeling
Kuroo wants to say something, but he doesn’t. He only opens his food and eats,
watching Tsukishima. It’s weird. This is definitely weird, right? Tsukishima
has no frame of reference and no one to ask.
Tsukishima feels Kuroo’s foot brush against his own. It must have been an
accident, Tsukishima thinks. He and I both have long legs and it’s a small
table. It must be an accident. Nevertheless, he swallows against his heartbeat
in his throat and keeps eating.
It could have been an accident the first time, but Kuroo leans forward a little
and their knees bump, and Kuroo’s long legs brush against Tsukishima’s. This
can’t be an accident. Is he really…?
“What are you doing?” Tsukishima asks. His chopsticks pause in midair, still
holding noodles.
“What does it seem like I’m doing?” replies Kuroo, leaning forward with his
arms on the table.
It seems, Tsukishima thinks, like you’re hitting on me. “Just – stop.”
“You don’t like it?” Kuroo says, sitting back a little. The contact of his legs
with Tsukishima’s stops. Tsukishima almost misses it.
It’s not that Tsukishima doesn’t like it. It’s just weird. More sudden than
weird, really. It’s confusing, why Kuroo has started doing this. It’s not that
Kuroo isn’t attractive, and it’s not that Tsukishima isn’t attracted to him –
it’s just… sudden. “Well,” is all Tsukishima manages to say.
Kuroo shrugs. “Are you rejecting me?” he asks.
Tsukishima doesn’t say anything. He isn’t rejecting him, not really. It’s
embarrassing, but not bad. Right? It’s not exactly wrong to let Kuroo touch him
under the table like this. He might even… want it. A little. Maybe.
Kuroo’s knees brush against Tsukishima’s again. This time, Tsukishima lets him.
What’s the harm? Is it so bad? Tsukishima looks at his food again to avoid
looking at the sly grin on Kuroo’s face.
Kuroo swallows the last of his meal, several empty take-out containers
scattered in front of him. As he sits back in his chair, his foot strokes in a
long line against Tsukishima’s leg and comes to rest on Tsukishima’s foot.
Tsukishima watches his grinning face as he finishes his meal, letting Kuroo do
as he pleases. It’s strange, but he doesn’t really want Kuroo to stop.
Tsukishima pays his check, and when he stands up, so does Kuroo. What does he
want? They walk out of the restaurant together. Kuroo takes a deep breath of
fresh air as they step outside. Then he looks to Tsukishima.
“What are you doing tonight?” Kuroo asks.
What? “Nothing,” Tsukishima answers. It’s true. He was only planning on going
home.
“Good,” Kuroo says. Without warning, he grabs Tsukishima by the wrist and pulls
him into the alley between the restaurant and the next building over.
Tsukishima stumbles after him, about to protest, when Kuroo grabs him by his
clothes and pushes him up against the brick wall of the restaurant. Tsukishima
thinks he is about to be hit, though he doesn’t exactly know why, and closes
his eyes to brace for the impact. Instead, he feels something soft press hard
against his lips. Is Kuroo… is Kuroo kissing him?
He almost definitely is. Tsukishima relaxes a bit, though he doesn’t know why
he does. He feels Kuroo lick at his bottom lip. Tsukishima parts his lips,
letting Kuroo’s tongue slip in and entwine with his own. Why is he doing this?
Why is he letting Kuroo do this? The answer is probably, Tsukishima thinks,
because I want to. Kuroo is really, really good at kissing. Tsukishima leans
forward a little bit for more contact, but Kuroo pulls away and looks at
Tsukishima, hands still gripping him by the lapels of his coat.
“Why are you doing this?” Tsukishima asks. Why?It’s all he can think about.
“Why are you doing this now?”
“It’s not like this is sudden,” Kuroo says. No! Tsukishima thinks. That’s
exactly what it is! Sudden! “I didn’t just ask you to block for me because I
wanted to teach you volleyball. How dense can a person be? Your glasses must
make you look smarter than you are.”
Tsukishima wants to argue, but he also wants to be kissing Kuroo again. It’s
embarrassing, being pressed up against an alley wall like this, letting Kuroo
do what he wants to him. But Tsukishima wants to. It feels good. Maybe Kuroo
tastes a little bit like the spicy meal he had just eaten, and maybe Tsukishima
kind of likes it, and maybe, maybe, he wants to kiss Kuroo again.
“Fuck, are you just going to sit there looking at me or are you going to do
something?” Kuroo asks. “Don’t tell me you want to stop?”
“I don’t,” Tsukishima says. Kuroo smirks, again, and this time it’s Tsukishima
who leans forward and presses his lips to Kuroo’s. Kuroo lets out a huff of
laughter and kisses back. His teeth nip gently at Tsukishima’s lips and his
tongue slides against Tsukishima’s tongue and his hands, God, his hands…they
slip down slowly, until finally they grip the cheeks of Tsukishima’s ass.
Tsukishma can feel the blood rising to his face and he almost pulls away from
the kiss, but Kuroo’s tongue feels so nice against his and this is just… this
is just… Tsukishima loses his train of thought and tangles his hand in the
fabric of Kuroo’s shirt.
Eventually, the two of them pull away from each other. They’re both trying to
catch their breath, though Tsukishima is trying a little harder. He can feel
Kuroo’s saliva drying on his lips and he reaches up to wipe it away with a
sleeve.
“Come home with me,” Kuroo says. Tsukishima scans his face for signs that he
might be joking, but doesn’t really find any.
“What?” Tsukishima asks.
“I’m not going to make out with you in this alley all night,” Kuroo says.
“Well, I would, but we can’t do anything more here. Are you coming or what?”
Anything more? Tsukishima wonders what that would be. Does he mean…? Well. If
he does, does Tsukishima want that? There is a stirring somewhere inside of him
that says he does. “I’m coming,” he answers. Kuroo finally lets go of him and
Tsukishima stands from against the wall.
“Good,” Kuroo says, again. Kuroo strolls out of the alley, letting Tsukishima
follow after him. It’s a couple of blocks before they stop. It’s a small
parking lot, and Kuroo pulls a set of keys from his pocket. He presses a button
and the car in front of them unlocks.
“You have a car?” Tsukishima asks.
“Yep,” Kuroo answers.
Tsukishima looks it over. It’s a light blue color, old, sort of beat up, and
there’s even rust in places. Tsukishima kind of pictured Kuroo in some sleek
black convertible, but he can’t say he’s surprised at this car belonging to him
either. “It’s shit,” he comments.
“It is not shit,” Kuroo defends. “It is a car, and it’s more than you have. Are
you gonna get in or what?”
Tsukishima nods and crosses around to the passenger side. Kuroo climbs in and
turns the key in the ignition. It doesn’t start right away, but stalls once,
then starts on the second try. Kuroo grins and pats the dash encouragingly.
Tsukishima isn’t sure about getting in this deathtrap of a car with this
deathtrap of a person, but he does it. At least the seatbelts work.
Kuroo pulls out of the parking lot and takes several turns until he’s on a
major road, two lanes wide with traffic moving along at a good clip.
“This isn’t a boyfriends thing,” Kuroo clarifies. He keeps his eyes locked on
the road and manages the steering wheel one-handed. “I’m not gonna hold your
fuckin’ hand.”
“Okay,” Tsukishima answers. That sounds fine with him. He hasn’t got time for a
boyfriend anyway. That’s not what he wanted out of this.
“I’m serious,” Kuroo says. This time he looks over. “I don’t want you getting
all pissy when something doesn’t go your way. I need you to know what to
expect.”
Tsukishima looks him levelly in the eyes. “Okay,” he agrees. Satisfied, Kuroo
looks back to the road ahead of them.
It’s dark and getting darker as they zip towards Kuroo’s home. The lights of
the city are bright in the darkness and Tsukishima watches them, and the people
that wander the streets. It’s a little weird, to be headed to Kuroo’s house
when minutes ago he thought he would be heading home. But he remembers kissing
Kuroo, the electric jolt of excitement he’d felt, and he knows he definitely
wants to be doing this instead.
The house is dark when they pull up to it – no lights on inside. Kuroo turns
off the car and the headlights go off too, leaving them in the gloom of the
streetlight. Kuroo leads the way to his front door, unlocks it, and steps
inside.
The place is dark as it was from the outside. No one’s home, clearly.
“Where are your parents?” Tsukishima asks, as the two of them kick off their
shoes.
“Not home,” Kuroo says into the darkness of his empty house. He turns to
Tsukishima and grins. “You can be as loud as you want.”
Tsukishima resents the fact that Kuroo thinks he is going to be loud, as if he
knows Tsukishima that well, or as if he has such great confidence in his own
sexual skill. He ignores Kuroo’s comment, in the end, and looks around as Kuroo
flicks on a light. It’s a decent place, solidly middle-class. Kuroo isn’t
waiting for him as he heads toward a staircase that leads up, where Tsukishima
figures Kuroo’s bedroom is. Kuroo’s bedroom. Tsukishima swallows and follows
him.
At the top of the stairs there is only one room, and it’s Kuroo’s. The ceilings
are slanted – the space must have originally been an attic. As it stands, it’s
painted a dark color (though he can’t tell what, as Kuroo has not bothered to
turn on the lights) and decorated in the trappings of a teenage boy, albeit one
who is heavily invested in punk rock. Kuroo throws the covers of his bed up in
a shabby, quick attempt to make the bed instead of leaving the covers piled up
at the foot of the bed.
“Well, here it is,” Kuroo says. “Casa de Kuroo. You like it?”
Tsukishima shrugs. It’s not Tsukishima’s style, really, but it definitely is
Kuroo’s.
“Sit down,” Kuroo commands, indicating the bed. Tsukishima does. Kuroo forces
his way to stand between Tsukishima’s legs, bends down to kiss him, and shoves
a leg against Tsukishima’s crotch. He’s stronger than he looks. Tsukishima
resists the urge to grind against Kuroo’s leg, focusing instead on Kuroo’s
hands cupping the back of his neck and his teeth biting gently at Tsukishima’s
lips.
Eventually, Kuroo presses Tsukishima backwards so that he is lying on his back
on Kuroo’s bed. Tsukishima looks up at Kuroo as he straddles him. Kuroo’s kiss
is just as rough and impassioned and sexy as before, but Tsukishima stops him.
“Glasses,” Tsukishima reminds. Kuroo takes them with gentle fingers and sets
them on the nightstand. His fingers are not quite so gentle when they come back
to touch Tsukishima. Because he knows he won’t break Tsukishima with them, like
he could break the glasses. At least, Tsukishima thinks he won’t. Though he
kind of hopes he does.
Kuroo slips his hands under Tsukishima’s shirt as he kisses him again.
Tsukishima’s heartbeat quickens. This is really happening, isn’t it? The
“anything more” he had mentioned in the alley.
“I haven’t – ” Tsukishima starts to say.
Kuroo lifts his lips from Tsukishima’s skin just far enough to murmur, “I’ll
teach you, then.” Kuroo’s breath, hot against his neck, sends a shiver down his
spine that he tries to suppress. Under his shirt, Kuroo’s fingers play around
Tsukishima’s ribs, then slide up to brush over one of his nipples. Tsukishima
lets out an involuntary grunt of surprise. It feels good, though. Of course it
does. Tsukishima turns his head towards Kuroo, desperate to kiss him again.
Kuroo notices and obliges him. Their lips press together and Kuroo’s tongue
licks at Tsukishima’s. Kuroo rubs a thumb around Tsukishima’s nipple. A sweet
sensation begins to spread through Tsukishima’s body. He swallows against the
saliva pooling in his mouth and shuts his eyes to savor the feeling.
Kuroo grinds his hips against Tsukishima’s. It’s enough to make Tsukishima cry
out, groaning low in his throat at first, then louder. His hips twitch up
against the pressure, trying to get closer through their clothes. Kuroo keeps
grinding, and lowers his mouth to the skin just above Tsukishima’s collarbone.
He bites gently, licking and sucking at the skin. It hurts, a little, but
Tsukishima is enjoying it more than he’d care to admit. His breath escapes him
and he leans his head back and lets Kuroo do as he wants.
The biting and sucking is over all too soon, but Tsukishima is certain it will
have left marks. Kuroo sits upright. In response, Tsukishima props himself up
with his elbows behind him, ready to ask why Kuroo had stopped. Before he can,
though, Kuroo is shoving his hands under Tsukishima’s shirt, pushing it up.
Automatically Tsukishima sits up and lets Kuroo pull his shirt off over his
head. He lays back and looks up at Kuroo, watching him as he strips his own
shirt off. He is more well-muscled than Tsukishima is, but that’s to be
expected. He’s already neatly grown into his own body in a way that Tsukishima
hasn’t yet, and he’s older, and a bit broader in build anyway. Tsukishima feels
skinny and weak in comparison, though he knows his own physique isn’t that bad.
Mercifully, Kuroo bends down again, spine curving, to suck and lick and bite at
places that had been hidden by Tsukishima’s shirt moments before. Tsukishima
moans at the sensation and Kuroo makes certain to grind against him, hard.
Kuroo is nipping near the V of Tsukishima’s hips and it’s more than Tsukishima
can take. He tangles his fingers in that mess of hair of Kuroo’s, gripping
tight. Kuroo pauses, then does something different – he reaches down and grabs
Tsukishima’s dick through his pants. Kuroo looks up at him.
“Are you hard already?” he asks.
“Shut up.”
Kuroo laughs. “Well, I’ll just have to get myself there too.” As he pulls one-
handed at Tsukishima’s belt and pants and underwear, he palms his own half-hard
cock through his pants.
“Let me,” Tsukishima says. He’s never done this before, but he thinks he can
manage at least this. It can’t be difficult. Kuroo makes a great show of taking
his hands away from himself as Tsukishima reaches down to grope him.
“Mm,” Kuroo says in response. With both hands free he pulls Tsukishima’s pants
down around his knees, leaving Tsukishima to kick them off himself, which he
does. Naked, laying under Kuroo, Tsukishima feels exposed. Why isn’t Kuroo this
exposed too? Bored with touching Kuroo through so much clothing, he fumbles,
two-handed, with his belt buckle and then his button. Eventually, he gets
Kuroo’s pants and underwear over the curve of his ass. Kuroo pulls them off the
rest of the way. Tsukishima is now faced with the realization that the two of
them are so very, desperately naked. Before he has time to process it fully,
Kuroo bends down and kisses Tsukishima again, the bare, hot skin of their
bodies pressing together.
With long fingers, Kuroo wraps a hand around both their dicks at once.
Tsukishima gasps at the touch and looks down. Kuroo moves his hips slowly, and
Tsukishima cries out.
“Ah! Mmn…”
Tsukishima lays his head back, almost involuntarily. This is unlike anything
Tsukishima has ever done, different even than when he has touched himself, and
he lets Kuroo continue to rub their cocks together, long slow strokes that make
Tsukishima yearn for more.
“You’re so easy,” Kuroo says. He is holding himself above Tsukishima with one
arm, hand pressing into the bed beside Tsukishima’s face. “I like it.”
Tsukishima opens one eye and looks up at Kuroo. “Easy…?”
“To get excited,” Kuroo clarifies. He’s smirking, again, like always. “It’s
like you’ll respond if I do anything.” He pushes himself against Tsukishima,
their cocks rubbing together down their length.
Tsukishima frowns. He isn’t used to this sort of contact, of course he’s going
to be easy to get worked up. Tsukishima struggles against the waves of soft
pleasure that wash over him, telling him to lay back and let Kuroo do it all,
and reaches up and roughly pulls Kuroo down to kiss him. Kuroo is smiling
against his lips, Tsukishima knows, he can feel his teeth. God, whatever Kuroo
is doing feels so good…
Kuroo breaks away from the kiss, but stays close. “I’m going to fuck you,” he
says, voice low in Tsukishima’s ear, “…Kei.”
The use of his given name like this is more than Tsukishima can handle. “Mmn,”
he moans. It’s all he can manage in response. Kuroo’s fingers play at the head
of Tsukishima’s cock. With his other hand he reaches over to grab a bottle of
something out of the top drawer of his dresser. With the bottle in one hand,
Kuroo releases his hold on both their cocks and sits up. Tsukishima almost
moans at the loss of Kuroo’s touch, but he doesn’t. Kuroo scoots himself
backwards and kneels between Tsukishima’s legs.
“What are you – ?” Tsukishima starts to say as he watches Kuroo. Kuroo doesn’t
respond. He only leans down, spreads the cheeks of Tsukishima’s ass with his
fingers, and begins to lick at his hole.
The feeling is strange, but not bad. After his initial surprise, Tsukishima
starts to enjoy it. The bottle Kuroo had fetched is cold against Tsukishima’s
skin where Kuroo had sat it at his side. Kuroo’s tongue is hot and wet at such
a sensitive area. Tsukishima moans, writhing a little, not even sure himself
whether he is trying to get away from or get closer to the sensation.
“I told you,” Kuroo says after a while of this, “I’m going to fuck you. But not
before we get you opened up for me…” He sits up a little, the warmth of his
breath and his tongue missing suddenly, and squeezes something from the bottle
that had been left at Tsukishima’s side. Oh. Lube. Before Tsukishima has really
registered what is about to happen, Kuroo has slipped a lubricated finger
inside of him. The sensation is weird, and a little uncomfortable, but as Kuroo
moves his finger inside, Tsukishima finds he is beginning to like it.
“You gotta relax,” Kuroo says. Tsukishima isn’t quite sure what he means, but
he wills himself to relax anyway. Before long, Tsukishima can feel his hole
relax and loosen a little. “There you go,” Kuroo murmurs. Tsukishima feels
another of Kuroo’s fingers press at his entrance, then slip inside. It’s the
same weird, slightly stinging feeling as the first finger, but this time he
gets used to it much quicker, letting himself relax around Kuroo’s fingers.
Eventually, Kuroo adds another finger, and Tsukishima moans as he works his
fingers inside him.
Kuroo reaches a hand around one of Tsukishima’s legs and grips Tsukishima’s
cock. Tsukishima’s hips twitch against Kuroo’s touch at his cock and the
fingers in his ass.
“Here,” Kuroo says. He leans over Tsukishima and grabs something from his
nightstand. “Help me with this.” He hands it to Tsukishima – a condom, secure
in its wrapper. Tsukishima looks at it blankly for a second. “Are you just
gonna sit there?” Kuroo prompts.
“No,” Tsukishima says, a little defiantly, and tears the package open at the
corner. He pulls out the condom and Kuroo steadies his own dick with one hand.
Tsukishima looks up at Kuroo’s face as he rolls the condom onto Kuroo’s cock.
He’s still smirking, watching Tsukishima’s hands as they touch him. Tsukishima
has never done this, not even on himself. He hopes it’s right. After Tsukishima
is done, he takes his hands off and lays back. Kuroo pinches the tip of the
condom himself to make a little space, then looks Tsukishima in the eyes.
“Ready?” he asks. Tsukishima nods. Kuroo withdraws his fingers, leaving
Tsukishima empty and yearning for their replacement. He shivers at the sudden
loss of the warmth of Kuroo’s fingers.
He doesn’t have to wait long to get his wish. After applying a little more
lube, Kuroo pushes into him, only as far as the tip of his cock. It’s bigger
than a few fingers, but he wants that feeling of something inside him again.
Tsukishima nods slightly. It’s okay to go on.Kuroo takes the hint and pushes
himself into Tsukishima slowly, as far as he can go. It’s faintly painful, but
has the same strange but good feeling as Kuroo’s fingers. Mostly, he just feels
full. It’s not until Kuroo starts to move, thrusting into and out of him, that
Tsukishima understands what he has gotten himself into. It feels good, great,
fantastic even, and Tsukishima moans, long and loud.
“I told you you would be loud,” Kuroo says. Tsukishima hates that he had been
right, but doesn’t hate it enough to try and hold in his cries.
“Hn… ah… shut up,” Tsukishima chokes out between thrusts. God, it feels good.
Tsukishima almost hates Kuroo for this, for knowing Tsukishima would like this,
for dragging him here and fucking him and knowinghe would like it. Each of
Kuroo’s thrusts brings a small moan out of Tsukishima.
“Thought so,” Kuroo says. “I knew you would like this.” It’s such a perfect
echo of Tsukishima’s own thoughts that he opens his eyes and looks up at Kuroo.
He doesn’t get a long look, though. Kuroo leans down and kisses his neck again,
just below his jaw, and licks and sucks at the spot Tsukishima knows he won’t
be able to hide tomorrow. Whatever. He doesn’t care. The hickeys won’t be
anyone else’s business anyway.
It feels good, but it’s not enough. Tsukishima reaches down with one hand to
grip his own cock. The contact is just what he needed, enough to get his breath
to catch in his throat. Kuroo notices. Of course. With a smirk he pushes
Tsukishima’s hand away and grips Tsukishima’s cock himself. Tsukishima looks
down – God, that feels good, even better than doing it himself – then lays his
head back.
“I hate you,” Tsukishima says.
“I know you do,” Kuroo responds. “Feels good, though, doesn’t it?” Tsukishima
nods, the feeling of Kuroo’s hand on his cock pushing other thoughts out of his
head. “You like it?” Tsukishima nods again. He does, he definitely does like
it, despite himself. Kuroo, with his infuriating smirk, is fucking him, and
Tsukishima wants – no, he needs – him to keep doing it.
“Tet…su…r – ” Tsukishima tries to call out Kuroo’s name, but before he can get
it totally out, Kuroo silences him with another deep kiss. Tsukishima loses
himself in the feeling of Kuroo’s lips and tongue and teeth. He presses Kuroo
closer with hands on his back and legs hooked around the back of Kuroo’s.
“You’re cute, you know?” Kuroo says after a while. He strokes Tsukishima’s
cheek with the backs of his fingers. Tsukishima is panting, feeling his orgasm
beginning to mount. It feels deep and intense, different than any time when
he’s made himself come, though he hasn’t reached it yet – it’s probably because
of the different stimulation of Kuroo’s dick inside him. He pushes closer to
Kuroo, desperate for more. Kuroo matches his strokes to Tsukishima’s eagerness,
pushing in as far as he possibly can.
“I’m… I’m gonna…” Tsukishima mutters. Each thrust of Kuroo’s cock and each
stroke of Kuroo’s hand on Tsukishima’s lets his orgasm mount higher and higher.
He’s going to come before Kuroo does. It almost feels like losing, somehow.
“Go ahead,” Kuroo says. “I’ll make you come.”
Tsukishima almost resents being given permission to come, but he’s too close to
care. Finally, his orgasm jolts through his body and Tsukishima cries out,
semen spilling onto his stomach. His breathing is shallow and each exhale
brings with it a small noise of pleasure until all of Tsukishima’s muscles go
slack, exhausted.
“Ha,” Kuroo breathes. “You look so good when you come.”
Tsukishima can’t find it in him to retort. Instead, he reaches up and grabs
Kuroo around the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him aggressively.
Eventually, Tsukishima releases him, choosing to lie back instead. Kuroo
continues fucking him. It still feels good, though his dick has gone soft post-
orgasm. Tsukishima’s head has cleared a bit, though looking up at Kuroo, it’s
clear his hasn’t. He must be getting close to his own orgasm. Perfect. This
couldn’t all just be Kuroo messing with Tsukishima all the time. Now it’s
Tsukishima’s turn.
“Fuck me,” Tsukishima says. He looks up to look Kuroo in the eye. The fingers
of one hand grip Kuroo’s wrist tightly. “That can’t be all you’ve got,
Tetsurou…”
“Shut up,” Kuroo says, glaring down at Tsukishima. “I made you cum, didn’t I?
You’re infuriating, did you know that?” Tsukishima clicks his tongue against
his teeth. Even this small defiance makes Kuroo grin and quicken his pace.
Kuroo comes with nothing more than a soft groan, his thrusts slowing to a halt.
He gives a last, satisfied sigh, and holds on to the condom at the base of his
dick as he pulls out of Tsukishima. Tsukishima feels a little empty, almost
missing Kuroo inside of him, but feels gratified nonetheless. Kuroo leans over
Tsukishima to drop the tied condom in a small metal trash basket next to his
bed. Then the two of them lay on their backs, looking up at the dark ceiling.
Kuroo laughs a little as he catches his breath. He hands Tsukishima a tissue to
wipe the cum from his stomach.
The room smells like sex and sweat and Kuroo. It’s heavy, and Tsukishima is
almost drowsy. Kuroo’s fingers rest lightly on the skin just above Tsukishima’s
dick. It’s a casual touch, without meaning other than the sexual, the way they
wanted. Tsukishima can’t say that he really likes Kuroo in any meaningful way,
on a personality level. It had been a good release, though.
“What was that, near the end?” Kuroo asks. His fingers trace little circles on
Tsukishima’s skin. “Trying to talk back to your senior?”
“You’re not mine, in any sense of the word,” Tsukishima answers caustically.
Kuroo laughs. “You learn quick,” he says. He stands from the bed and turns to
look down at Tsukishima. “You want some water?”
“Yeah.” Tsukishima lays flat on his back, eyes closed, as his breathing slows
back to normal.
Kuroo leaves to go downstairs and Tsukishima lies there, contemplating. He
feels used, and a little dirty, but he doesn’t hate it. No, he likes it. A lot.
He wants to do it again. If he wasn’t totally spent, he would ask to. As it
stands, Tsukishima feels fatigue in muscles he didn’t even know he had.
Kuroo comes back up the stairs, a glass of water in each hand. He holds one out
to Tsukishima, who has to sit up to take it. He drinks it sip by sip, not
really looking at anything in particular, but aware of Kuroo’s eyes on him.
“I need to go home,” Tsukishima says. He holds the glass in his hands between
his knees. He should have been home hours ago, but he doesn’t really care. The
sex had been good, even if Tsukishima didn’t really care much for Kuroo
himself.
Kuroo shrugs. “Go, then.” He’d been right. This wasn’t a ‘boyfriend’ thing.
Even now, Tsukishima didn’t want it to be. This was enough. He finishes the
glass of water before standing, still naked, from Kuroo’s bed. He gathers his
clothes and slowly puts them back on. Kuroo watches him, glass in one hand.
After Tsukishima gathers all his belongings and has pulled his jacket on, he
looks at Kuroo.
“Thanks,” Kuroo says.
“Yeah,” Tsukishima says.
“You want me to walk you out?”
“I’ve got it.”
Kuroo nods. “Alright. See you, then.”
“Yeah.”
Kuroo grabs a scrap of paper and a pen and writes something and hands the paper
to Tsukishima. Tsukishima doesn’t move. “That’s my number.”
“Thanks,” Tsukishima says, finally reaching out to take it.
“You can text me.”
“Okay.”
Tsukishima leaves the room and walks down the stairs. This feels a little
abrupt, but it’s not like either of them had ever intended to cuddle or
something afterwards. The last words he hears from Kuroo that night is a “Bye,”
shouted from the top of the stairs as Tsukishima reaches the bottom. He sees
himself out of the dark house.
 
***
 
Tsukishima wipes sweat from his forehead, looking at the net. Volleyball
practice. He’s sore from last night, with Kuroo, and he doesn’t really want to
be here. More so than usual.
Tsukishima misses his block. He takes a moment to stand with his hands on the
back of his head, catching his breath, as someone behind him throws the ball
back, under the net, to Kageyama.
“Tsukishima!” …It’s Hinata. He looks up at Tsukishima from where he stands on
the other side of the net. “Where did you get all those bruises?”
The hickeys. He’s talking about the hickeys, which Tsukishima hadn’t bothered
to hide. Hinata is the first person to ask today – probably because the rest of
the people in this school weren’t quite as big of idiots as Hinata.
Tsukishima’s not that embarrassed of the hickeys. Really, they’re more like a
badge of honor for putting up with Kuroo like he did. Tsukishima can see Asahi
and Daichi and Suga to one side of him, shaking their heads no, don’t say
anything, shut up Hinata, shut up! Even Nishinoya looks a little mortified,
which is new and different for a guy like him.
“It’s none of your business,” Tsukishima spits at Hinata. The little shrimp
looks confused and even a bit angry with that frown that’s just appeared on his
face, but Tsukishima doesn’t care about his feelings right now – or ever,
really. “Spike it.”
Tsukishima can feel himself being more aggressive than usual for the rest of
practice, but he doesn’t bother to rein it in. It upsets Hinata and Kageyama,
which is usually what Tsukishima is going for anyway, and Tsukishima is for
some reason always at his best playing volleyball after he’s dealt with Kuroo
for a while. The anger makes him focused, probably.
When practice is over, Tsukishima and the others change out of their practice
clothes and back into their school uniforms. Tsukishima texts Kuroo, whose
number he saved in his phone on the bus ride back from Kuroo’s place last
night. It’s Tsukishima. Can I come over?He tucks his phone in his pocket and
leaves the club room. Yamaguchi tags along after him, as he always does.
They’re friends, or as close to friends as Tsukishima really has; plus, they
live in the same direction. He can tell by the look on his face that Yamaguchi
wants to say something, but he doesn’t. That’s smart of him. Tsukishima doesn’t
really want to explain his hickeys and bruises and who he got them from to
Yamaguchi. It might shock him to death. Who knows.
He and Yamaguchi are nearly home before Tsukishima gets a text back from Kuroo.
sure.
“I can’t hang out today,” Tsukishima says, looking up from his phone. Yamaguchi
nods. Tsukishima is sure he gets it. He certainly isn’t stupid. He leaves
Yamaguchi when they reach his place, and Tsukishima heads home to drop his
things off before leaving for Kuroo’s.
It’s a bus to the train, and then a train ride to Kuroo’s neighborhood. It’s a
bit of travel, but it will probably be worth it, judging by how last night had
been. He feels bad for ditching Yamaguchi. But, whatever, they’re not really
kids anymore – this was bound to happen at some point.
Tsukishima gets off the train at the stop closest to Kuroo’s neighborhood. It’s
a bit of a walk from here to his place, but Tsukishima turns up the volume on
his headphones and blocks out the sound of passing cars and barking dogs and
the far-off sounds of kids still out playing even in this twilight. Tsukishima
reaches Kuroo’s house, and it looks the same as the previous night, with the
exception of a lone light shining from one of the first floor windows. He steps
up to the door and knocks, three sharp raps.
When Kuroo answers the door, he does it with his customary smile. He’s out of
his day clothes, dressed in a T-shirt and some basketball shorts. “Wasn’t
expecting to see you again so soon,” Kuroo says. Tsukishima doesn’t answer
that.
“Can I come in?” Tsukishima asks. It’s only polite to ask, though he knows damn
well that Kuroo will let him in. Kuroo steps aside to permit Tsukishima’s
entrance to his house.
“You want some dinner?” Kuroo asks, that stupid smirk on his face, as
Tsukishima pushes past him.
“No,” Tsukishima replies. That’s not what he’s here for.
Kuroo shrugs. “All business with you, isn’t it,” Kuroo says. He motions with a
hand to the stairs. Tsukishima leads the way.
“You have practice today?” Kuroo asks conversationally. “How’d you do?”
He’s pretending to care about volleyball, when he knows what they’re both here
for. Tsukishima fumes. “Stop talking,” he spits, rounding on Kuroo. God.
Tsukishima hates him. Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he just hates how easy it is
for Kuroo to get to him, to weasel his way in and do everything just right to
get him to snap. Maybe it’s that Tsukishima is used to doing the riling, and
the fact that he’s never been able to get to Kuroo, not once, is what’s
bothering him. Either way, right now he just wants to hate-fuck Kuroo and get
it out of his system.
Tsukishima reaches out and pulls Kuroo to him for a rough kiss. However much he
hates Kuroo’s personality, at least he knows Kuroo’s kiss will be good, but not
as good as the sex promises to be. This time it’s Tsukishima that bites and
sucks gently at Kuroo’s lips. He’s frustrated, furious really, that somehow he
hasn’t been able to get Kuroo out of his head once today, not even for a
moment. What right does he have to just invade Tsukishima’s head and take up
residence like this?
“You’re a little more aggressive today,” Kuroo says after pulling away for a
moment. His fingers run through the hair at the nape of Tsukishima’s neck. “I
like it.”
“Shut up,” Tsukishima says. He shoves his hands under the waistband of Kuroo’s
pants and underwear, then pulls them down to Kuroo’s ankles in one swift
motion. He pushes Kuroo down to sit on the bed, but it didn’t really take much
force. Kuroo must have been expecting it, wanting it. Tsukishima sinks to his
knees between Kuroo’s legs.
“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Kuroo asks.
“I do!” Tsukishima says indignantly. He’s seen this before plenty of times, in
porn, which he would never admit to anyone else that he watches, but he does,
like any red-blooded teenage boy. “I know what I’m doing.”
Tsukishima bends his neck and wraps his lips around the top of Kuroo’s half-
hard cock. With a careful tongue he licks along the underside of Kuroo’s shaft.
Tsukishima can feel Kuroo growing harder as Tsukishima sucks and licks at his
dick. The only noises are the wet sounds Tsukishima’s mouth makes around
Kuroo’s cock and the soft breaths and words of encouragement from Kuroo.
“I have to hand it to you,” Kuroo breathes, fully hard cock still in
Tsukishima’s mouth as Tsukishima looks up at him, “You weren’t kidding when you
said you knew what you were doing.” Tsukishima is relieved, and somewhere deep
inside himself, a little proud, that Kuroo is giving him such praise his first
time giving head. Not that he needs Kuroo’s approval. Tsukishima looks up, his
tongue still pressed to the head of Kuroo’s cock, to see Kuroo looking down at
him with his head cocked and a smile on his face.
“I wanna ride you,” Tsukishima says, mouth centimeters from the tip of Kuroo’s
cock.
“You’d better get those pants off, then.”
Tsukishima struggles for a moment with his own belt, then slips out of his
pants and underwear. “Give me that lube,” Tsukishima demands.
As Kuroo he does so, Tsukishima takes off his own shirt as well. Tsukishima
takes a moment to squeeze some of the lube onto his own fingers. With a
determined set to his chin, he reaches down and pushes a finger into his own
ass. He can feel his own breath, hot and short, as he fingers himself.
“Woah,” Kuroo says. With a hand on Tsukishima’s chin, he lifts Tsukishima’s
face. “I’m impressed.” Tsukishima clicks his tongue against his teeth with
disdain and turns his face away and down, taking Kuroo’s dick in his mouth
again. He moans at the feeling of his fingers inside as he works his mouth
around Kuroo’s cock.
Eventually, Tsukishima removes his lips from Kuroo’s erection with a wet sound.
“Condom,” he says. Kuroo lays back and stretches an arm out to grab one off the
nightstand, then hands it down to Tsukishima. Tsukishima holds the condom in
his free hand, rips the package open with careful teeth, and rolls the condom
onto Kuroo.
“Lay back,” Tsukishima says. Kuroo does, but fuck, does Tsukishima wish he
would stop smiling like that. Tsukishima slowly takes his fingers out of
himself before he stands up. Just do it, Tsukishima thinks to himself, before
you lose your nerve. He kneels over Kuroo with his back to him.
“Huh,” Kuroo says, as if he hadn’t been expecting this. “I’m impressed.”
“Stop saying that,” Tsukishima says. He sits back, one hand steadying Kuroo’s
dick, and eases himself onto it, other hand on Kuroo’s thigh to keep himself
stable. “Hah…” Tsukishima cries out as he finally takes Kuroo’s length. Kuroo’s
hands grip him and his fingers dig into his hip bones.
Tsukishima steadies himself as he rides Kuroo with hands gripping Kuroo’s
thighs. It feels good, and being on top, he feels more powerful. The more
worked up Tsukishima gets, the harder his fingers grasp at Kuroo, until Kuroo
protests.
“Easy there, kid,” Kuroo says. He leans forward and puts a hand over one of
Tsukishima’s, intending to loosen Tsukishima’s grip on his thighs.
“Don’t call me a kid,” Tsukishima snaps. He digs his nails in, refusing to let
up. Kuroo only laughs.
“Okay then,” Kuroo says, and lays back, letting Tsukishima do as he pleases.
Tsukishima’s hands shake as they begin to fatigue from his grip. Eventually he
lets them go slack. Like Kuroo wanted. Tsukishima resents that he did something
Kuroo wanted in the end. He’s angry. Angry at himself, for getting into this,
for wanting this; angry at Kuroo, for making him want him in the first place;
angry at Kuroo’s cool demeanor even now, even when Tsukishima himself is
bordering on furious. Why should he get to lay there all calm and collected
when all of Tsukishima’s ends are fraying? He wants to make Kuroo angry, just
as angry as he is himself, and he knows it won’t solve anything but maybe if he
can make Kuroo feel something then Tsukishima won’t be the only one with
someone else under his skin.
“You think you’re so cool,” Tsukishima says bitterly. “You think you’re so
fucking cool, and you’re not. You’re just a stupid teenager, like the rest of
us. You’re awful.”
“Hmm.” Kuroo doesn’t say anything but that in reply. One hand lingers on
Tsukishima’s hip; the other is under Kuroo’s head, propping it up so he can
watch Tsukishima ride him.
“You’re nothing, just like we all are,” Tsukishima continues. “You’re just some
kid with messy hair and a ridiculous smile on your face. You’re nothing
special.”
Kuroo still doesn’t say anything.
Tsukishima digs the heels of his palms into Kuroo’s thighs, putting most of his
weight on them, even as he grinds his hips to get Kuroo’s cock deeper. “God
damn you!” Tsukishima shouts. “Get angry at me!”
Kuroo sits up suddenly. The movement shifts Tsukishima in his position, but
doesn’t buck him off. “Why?” Kuroo asks. Tsukishima can feel his heat only
centimeters behind him. Kuroo leans forward to speak in his ear. “Because you
think you’re angry at me? Or because you want me to treat you like shit? Either
way, you’re pretty fucked up.”
“Fuck you,” Tsukishima spits. He moves his hips frantically, seeking more and
deeper sensation.
“I’m not gonna treat you like garbage just because you think you’re garbage,”
Kuroo says. His voice has a little edge, but not as much as Tsukishima had been
hoping for. “And I’m not here to unpack your issues.”
“How would you know if I think I’m garbage?” Tsukishima pants. “You don’t
fucking know me.”
Kuroo laughs. “Because you’re so fucking obvious. And I think I know you a
little better than you think. I’ve fucked you, remember?” As if to drive home
his point, he gives one solid thrust that makes Tsukishima cry out. It feels
good, and Tsukishima hates it. He’d been right. Tsukishima hates himself, and
has for a long time. It’s the reason he likes to pick on others so much, likes
getting people like Hinata riled up and angry while he stays cool and
disconnected. It makes him feel superior, for once. But not with Kuroo. It
doesn’t work, and it probably never will. He may as well face it.
“You’re right,” Tsukishima mutters.
“Hm?”
“I said, you’re right!” Tsukishima’s moans are practically sobs. “I hate
myself, and I think I’m fucking garbage, and I want someone to treat me like
they understand that, I want to be treated like I am what Iknow I am, and
you’re just not doing it.”
“I know.”
“So do it! Treat me like shit. I want you to.”
Reaching around with the hand that had been on Tsukishima’s hip, Kuroo grabs
Tsukishima’s cock. “Do you need it to get off? Is that what this is?” Kuroo
asks. His fingers lightly cling to Tsukishima’s dick.
Tsukishima shakes with anger and the hot, hard feeling of Kuroo inside him.
“Maybe,” he says through clenched teeth. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you like it rough and you think the only way I’ll give it to you is if
I’m angry,” Kuroo muses. “Well, you’re wrong about that. I can give it to you
rough, if that’s what you want. But I’m not gonna get angry at you.”
Tsukishima almost doesn’t want to admit it, doesn’t want to admit that he kind
of wants to be hurt, that he wants someone to push him around here, and now, of
all places and times, even if he won’t let people do that under normal
circumstances, and he wants that someone to be Kuroo. “Yeah,” he says.
“Yeah, what?”
“Yeah, I want it rough.”
“That’s all you had to say.”
Tsukishima feels strange and stretched out, like something had been pulled from
him and now he was too big for what was left. He almost feels… better. Like
confessing how he felt to Kuroo had done him some good, or something. How
awful.
“Hands and knees,” Kuroo commands. Tsukishima doesn’t understand him for a
moment, but he’s startled into action when Kuroo deals a light slap to his ass.
“As much as I like you sitting on my dick, you can’t sit there all day. Move
it.”
Slowly, Tsukishima sits up, letting Kuroo pull out his cock and slip out from
underneath him. Then, Tsukishima drops to his hands and knees. He feels the
warmth of Kuroo’s body behind him, feels the head of Kuroo’s dick against his
asshole. Kuroo reaches down and grabs one of Tsukishima’s arms, then the other,
and pins them behind Tsukishima’s back with one hand gripping both of his
wrists together. The force of the maneuver shoves Tsukishima’s face down into
the mattress, ass in the air. It twists his neck and pulls at the muscles of
his arms and it hurts, but the pain makes him moan in anticipation. Kuroo
pushes into him again, hard and deep on the first thrust. Tsukishima moans and
wriggles a little, but Kuroo keeps him firmly in place.
“Rough enough for you?” Kuroo asks, bending over Tsukishima’s back to speak in
his ear. Tsukishima utters a small affirmation, mostly swallowed up in the
sheets. Kuroo fucks him, paying little heed to the pain he’s causing Tsukishima
under him. That’s doesn’t matter. Tsukishima likes it anyway. Tsukishima
relieves some of the pressure on his neck by turning to press his forehead
instead of his cheek to the bed. He breathes heavy with relief and pleasure,
enjoying the feeling of Kuroo slamming into him again and again.
“You like getting fucked, don’t you?” Kuroo’s words are sudden, and close, and
it nearly makes Tsukishima shiver.
“Yes,” Tsukishima mutters, words muffled by the sheets his face is buried in.
“What?”
“Yes!” he calls out, loud and clear this time. “I like getting fucked!”
“Good,” Kuroo says. God, Kuroo hates it when he says that. Like Tsukishima
needs his fucking approval! As much as he hates it, maybe becausehe hates it,
it turns him on. Kuroo reaches his hand around to grip Tsukishima’s cock.
Desperate for something, anything, as an outlet for the feeling, Tsukishima
sinks his teeth into the sheets an inch from his mouth. It feels good, rough
and wild and just what Tsukishima had wanted. He can feel precum beading at the
tip of his dick.
“I left some good marks on you yesterday,” Kuroo says. Tsukishima feels Kuroo’s
lips brush the skin of his shoulders. “How about we make a few more?” Ah. There
it is. Kuroo bites, a little harder than he had yesterday, then sucks at the
spot. Tsukishima moans, encouraging Kuroo and the small pain of his teeth and
the steady, pleasurable thrusting of his cock. Kuroo goes about it, fucking him
and sucking marks into his skin and gripping him tight enough to leave bruises.
It’s perfect, and it drives all other thoughts from Tsukishima’s head.
“I’m – I’m gonna… I’m gonna come…” he says eventually, feeling the sensation of
his mounting orgasm in waves.
“How about you ask nicely?” Kuroo says. The movement of his hand along
Tsukishima’s shaft stops, cutting off some of the stimulation he needs to push
himself over the edge.
“Please,” Tsukishima chokes out. “Please! Let me come…”
“There it is.”
Kuroo resumes touching Tsukishima, rubbing his fingers at sensitive spots of
Tsukishima’s cock. With a loud cry, halfway between a moan and a whine, cum
spills from Tsukishima’s dick onto Kuroo’s fingers and the sheets below.
“Hah…” Tsukishima breathes as Kuroo rubs the sensitive head of his cock,
wringing the last of his orgasm out of him. When he has finished, Tsukishima’s
muscles go slack, until almost his whole torso is flush to the bed. Mercifully,
Kuroo lets go of his hold on Tsukishima’s arms. He brings them down to steady
himself, lifting his face and body from the mattress, holding himself steady on
hands and knees again. He doesn’t have a long respite, though. With the hand
that had just been holding Tsukishima down, Kuroo turns Tsukishima’s head back
to force him to look at him. Eyes locked to Tsukishima’s, Kuroo licks
Tsukishima’s cum from his fingers. Tsukishima moans at the sight. How can
someone so maddening be so hot?
Kuroo releases his hold on Tsukishima’s face, letting him hang his head with
exhaustion. Kuroo’s pace has not let up, and he fucks Tsukishima until he’s
whining, oversensitive after his orgasm.
“Lucky for you,” Kuroo says. His breaths are short, close together. “I’m close,
too. It’s almost painful to see you whimpering like that.”
It’s pathetic, Tsukishima knows. But he can’t really do much else. He’s weak
from cumming and sore from being held down and each thrust brings with it a
sweet little aftershock of his orgasm. “Good,” Tsukishima sneers, “Fuck me,
then. Fuck me until you come.”
Kuroo laughs a breathless laugh and obliges him. Soon, Kuroo comes, with
nothing more than a soft sigh at his moment of release. Quiet as ever.
Tsukishima wishes Kuroo would be louder. Then all these embarrassing noises in
an otherwise silent house wouldn’t belong solely to Tsukishima.
Kuroo pats Tsukishima’s back before he pulls out. With deft hands, he pulls the
used condom off, ties it, and drops it in the trash bin next to his bed.
Tsukishima lowers himself to lay flat on his stomach on the bed. The pillow he
lays his face on smells like Kuroo. Kuroo, with legs as long as Tsukishima’s,
easily steps up onto the bed and over Tsukishima, and deposits himself on his
back on the other side of the bed. Show-off.
“I need to shower,” Tsukishima says. His skin is sticky with sweat and he feels
embarrassed, remembering things he’d said. Tsukishima feels emotionally
drained, but somehow, it feels okay, like taking a bath in a freshly-cleaned
tub after a hard day.
“Downstairs,” Kuroo says. He lounges on the bed like a cat in sunlight, opening
one eye to look at Tsukishima.
His shower is short, only bothering to rinse the sweat from his body and hair
and scrub himself with some of Kuroo’s body wash. The towel hanging next to the
shower smells clean, so Tsukishima uses it. There’s no one home, so Tsukishima
heads back up to Kuroo’s room naked and using the towel to dry off his hair.
“Thought you were going to use all the hot water,” Kuroo’s voice says in the
darkness.
“I was only in for five minutes.” Tsukishima lets the damp towel hang from his
fingers, standing naked in the dark. Kuroo has stripped the dirtied sheets from
the bed, leaving them in a pile at the foot of it.
“Seemed like forever, though.” Kuroo is standing at the window, flicking at a
lighter. When he finally gets the flame to spark up, he lights a cigarette that
hangs from his lips. After he takes his first inhale, he carefully blows smoke
out the open window. He sets his lighter on the window sill and leans forward,
resting his forearms on the sill. He looks different somehow, with his
shoulders slack and his back bent forward and his muscles moving under his skin
as he breathes and lifts his hand to bring his cigarette to his mouth. The
thick, acrid smell of the smoke hits Tsukishima’s nose as he watches him.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” Tsukishima says.
Kuroo looks over from where he stands at the window, and laughs. Smoke spills
from his mouth and nose as he does so. “I only smoke after I fuck.” He taps
ashes out the window, letting them fall into the garden below, then takes
another drag.
“Hmm,” Tsukishima says. He really does like the way Kuroo looks when he smokes.
“Grab me the ashtray from the bottom drawer of my nightstand,” Kuroo asks.
Tsukishima does. The ashtray is empty of butts and clean except for the smeared
ash remains of a few cigarettes. He only smokes after he fucks, and he keeps an
ashtray in his room. But that’s not any of Tsukishima’s business anyway, and
it’s not like he really cares. He brings the ashtray, sets it on the window
sill, and stands next to Kuroo, looking out over the dark street lit here and
there by orange streetlamps.
“It’s late,” Kuroo says. “How about you spend the night?”
“Why would I want to do that?” Tsukishima asks lazily, rubbing at one of the
hickeys from the previous night near his collarbone. “Don’t tell me you have
feelings or something?”
“Bus is going to stop running soon,” Kuroo comments. “And no. No feelings. I
told you I wasn’t going to be your fuckin’ boyfriend.”
“And I said that’s fine,” Tsukishima answers. “I’m only here because you’re
good in bed.”
Kuroo breathes another stream of smoke out the window. The end of his cigarette
burns in the darkness, a tiny red-orange spot. “You’re not so bad yourself.” He
looks over at Tsukishima. “Just stay the night. I’m doing this out of the
goodness of my heart.”
“Yeah, right,” Tsukishima says. “Your heart.”
“Mm-hmm.”
Tsukishima considers it. It islate, and it’s Friday, so there won’t be class
tomorrow. “Where are your parents?”
Kuroo breathes out more smoke before answering. “They’re not here tonight.”
“They weren’t here last night either.”
“Why do you care?”
Finally, a sensitive spot. It’s what he’s been wanting all along, just a little
bit of an upper hand, but now that he has it he feels strangely guilty for
needling Kuroo. He closes his mouth and shakes his head. He’ll drop it, for
now.
Kuroo sighs, smoke curling into the night air outside the window, then turns to
face Tsukishima. “Come on,” he says. “You don’t have school tomorrow. Plus…”
Kuroo turns to stand in front of Tsukishima. “I might wanna fuck you again in
the morning.”
There’s something different about the atmosphere in the room now. Is it because
Kuroo asked him to stay the night? Or is it because Tsukishima is finally
understanding things about Kuroo, like the way he smokes and that stuff about
his parents, the way Kuroo has had Tsukishima figured out from the start? The
smoke curling from Kuroo’s cigarette catches his attention, but something about
Kuroo holds it.
“You look sexy when you smoke,” Tsukishima says, and he means it.
“Maybe I should do it more often,” Kuroo responds, cigarette hanging between
his lips and a lopsided smile on his face. He reaches around to grab
Tsukishima’s ass with one hand. He takes another drag and then removes the
cigarette deftly with two fingers of his free hand, then rests the hand on
Tsukishima’s shoulder. He blows the smoke out the corner of his mouth, keeping
his eyes locked on Tsukishima’s face. Then, he leans forward and kisses him.
Tsukishima likes the way Kuroo tastes with smoke on his lips. It makes all this
seem dangerous and adult, and less like two stupid teenagers fucking in the
dark when one or both of them gets horny. The towel still hangs from
Tsukishima’s fingers, but he drops it in favor of reaching out to pull Kuroo’s
still-naked body closer to his own.
Eventually, Kuroo pulls away, takes a last drag of his cigarette, and puts it
out in the ashtray on the window sill. “So,” he says. “Are you staying or
what?”
Tsukishima looks at his feet, then away. “…I guess so.”
“You’re not garbage, you know,” Kuroo says. The softness of his voice startles
Tsukishima, and he looks at Kuroo, wondering if what he heard was what he
thought it had been.
“What?”
“I said, you’re not garbage,” Kuroo repeats. “You’re good. You’re smart, and
you could be great at volleyball if you just tried, and it’s just – you’re not
a bad kid. I mean it, Kei.”
Tsukishima is stunned for a second. He tries to think of something to say,
something to let Kuroo know that what he’d said wasn’t falling on deaf ears,
that Tsukishima was going to try and believe him but that he wasn’t making any
promises. Somehow, the only thing he manages to come up with is, “I told you
not to call me a kid.”
“That is so not the point of what I just said,” Kuroo retorts.
There is silence for a moment. Then, Tsukishima softly says, “…Thanks.”
Tsukishima looks up as he says this, looks directly into Kuroo’s eyes, hoping
Kuroo understands that he’s thanking him for being a good person even when
Tsukishima begged him not to be. Kuroo’s smile reappears. Kuroo’s always had
him figured out, since the beginning, Tsukishima thinks.
“You want dinner finally, or are you gonna blow me off again?” Kuroo asks.
“Well, I’m certainly not going to blow you again tonight,” Tsukishima says
primly, adjusting his glasses.
“Ha ha fucking ha, very clever, kiddo,” Kuroo says dryly. He turns Tsukishima
around and leads him downstairs with a hand on his back. It feels almost
normal, or like this is what normal could be someday, and it feels kind of
good.
 
***
 
Tsukishima stares at the ceiling of the dark room and listens to Kuroo’s
breathing next to him. Kuroo isn’t asleep, not yet, and Tsukishima is glad for
it. Kuroo sleeping next to him is comforting, but his presence awake is better.
This is the eighth time Tsukishima has found himself in Kuroo’s bed in less
than a month. For now, this is as good of a place for him to be as any. He
likes it, he likes getting fucked by Kuroo, and he likes himself when he’s with
Kuroo. It doesn’t mean anything (or at least, that’s what he tells himself) but
he doesn’t hate it, not even a little bit. This isn’t going to last forever,
but Tsukishima thinks he may as well enjoy it while he can.
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